Balance

The Virgina Tech tragedy has dominated the airwaves and print. It's hard to turn on the TV without hearing the latest updates about the senseless killing by a 23 year old.

It's all very sad, where did all this go wrong? How do someone grow from a tiny little baby to become a killer?

Anyways, so that prompted the thinking that all things in this universe is striving for balance. Too much rain, too little water. Too much sun, not enough light. Give the kids all the things they need or are we spoiling them? Too much work, not enough play? Too much freedom or control?

The kid was definitely off balance. How did he become that way and can we prevent tragedies in the future?

It's hard I think for all of us, society in general to take part of the blame for tragedies that happen every day. Myself is not excluded for sitting back and letting things go by. I think most of us are very detached.. prehaps detached to protect ourselves.. maybe in self denial that ugly.. very ugly things go on in this world. Things we want to distant ourselves with we tend to either ignore to delay facing reality or totally ignore it.

So what can we as humans do to prevent this? How can we as a society help steer the next generation to become humans with moral values? And is it too late for those that are walking and talking already? Can we guide the lost or troubled souls towards a healing path?

It'll take all of us to make those types of commitments. Are we ready?

Melancholy

One word summed it all up. Wonder who thought of this word that describes what every one of us feels. The knit brows, the half grimace, the tightened jaws and this incredible sadness that seeps through the body as if the dark clouds will never dissipate. You try as you might, with loud music and upbeat tempos. You try again with renting laughs that comes on a shiny disc. But, nay, nothing works.

Only time I guess, time and enough self indulgence to let this course of gloom and doom run through your veins throughout each limb, run itself to exhaustion and lay to rest before you can return to your old self.

Deconstruct and Reconstruct

Following are notes I jotted down, trying to remember bits and pieces of one of my dreams.
The colors were muted.. kinda like that grayish hue depicted in War of the Worlds. The sky was ominous, everything is just a shade grayer, a little more dustier.

- killed in a flash
- imploded, people died but afterwards they came back through another flash
- the entire world seems to be deconstructed and reconstructed by some supernatural force right infront of my eyes. I can only stand there in awe and watch houses tore down and rebuilt within minutes
- houses wiped out crumbled but the rebuilding was like moving of boxes in and out until all the houses are in a row and connected. The strange thing and almost comical if the situation wasn't about life and death was that the rebuilt houses were very colorful in this rebuilt world. They reminded me of Florida or actually more of the France style houses I seen once in Quebec.

Music Is Too Loud

Well, this is a first for me - a complaint from front desk asking me to turn my music down.

I guess the hotel walls are not as thick as I thought. Seriously, how loud can the music be if it's coming from an IBM laptop?

I had the TV on until 3 am and it was pretty loud.. maybe somehow they didn't notice until I started singing.. hahah.

Ooh joys of living out of a hotel, even if it is a Hilton. Just not the same I guess. Sadly I had to turn down Sia - singing Breathe Me on YouTube. Now time to hit the treadmills before my ass completes its morphing into globs of fat.

Most Memorable V Day

I got no love.
I got no food.
I got no car.....

Sounds like a beginning of a best woeful hit of 2007.

Well I have to say, this particular Valentines day takes the cake and ate it too. Morning started out with me on top of my blanket and covers on my king size Hilton bed. Alone. That was not a surprise since I did after all went to bed alone. If I didn't wake up alone, that would've been a bit weird and scary.

The world froze overnight. Hilton did a crappy job of plowing and the lot still looked treacherous. Then the boss called to say the roads are horrible. But thankfully I wasn't on the road yet. So I worked from the hotel until my stomach called for food. I donned my winter gear and headed out to the parking lot to clean off the Element.

That's when the day started to go downhill. I must have left my windshield wipers on last night and while I was scraping off the ice, I didn't realize that the wipers were trying to wipe until it was too late. By the time I turned the wipers off, the motor driving it seems to be fried. :( Not a good day. So rest of the afternoon was spent partially working but mostly looking for a dealership around here and worrying how I'll be able to get there tomorrow.

I guess it's better than not remember a Valentines day. I can tell who ever cares to ask that around midnight, I hiked to the local CVS to get myself some grub. A box of Honey Bunches of Oats, 140z of whole milk, Veryfine Apple juice and a bottle of V8.

In the cereal goes into a glass cup, pour in the milk, and with my own metal spoon, I scooped up that delicious mixture into my awaiting mouth. Hmmmmmmm...... fooood...

Happy Valentines Day.

5,000 Calories

Yep, that's what I consumed in one setting if not more.

Today a friend came in to visit so we decided to give the new cheeseburger chain restaurant in town a try. The atmosphere was friendly and brightly lit with the old diner neon lights deco.

Gosh, I don't remember the last time I ordered a cheeseburger at a restaurant. McDonalds don't count.

The owners of the joint made a good call. The town was missing a family restaurant. Actually come to think of it.. lots of town are missing family restaurants where kids enjoy the food much more so than the adults. The place was jammed pack with wait of 25 minutes! To pass the time, we walked across the street to Duncan Donuts to kick off the night of high calorie feast.

The burger wasn't bad.. not out of this world good either. But it was just nice to sit in a place where you see families. The parents, the kids type of thing. I was amazed to see so many in one place.

Good for them.

Not so good for my figure.

All About the Timing

The past 24 hours has just not worked out for me. Time was my enemy. It went against everything I was trying to do. First I woke up on 02/01/07, 5 AMish to realize that "Sh*t!!! I did not get to place my Amazon Wishlist gift certificate order cuz I fell asleep 30 minutes before the deadline." Contributing factors to the waste of a good 25% off were:
1 - sleep deprivation
2 - coma induced by gorging food at 9:30 PM
3 - the unbreakable habit of procrastination until very last minute

You snooze you loose. Prime example right here. Literally.

So the morning did not start off so well. Got to work, work work work, then found out that we really didn't have to be there on Friday so it was a mad rush during lunch hours to go back and checkout of the hotel.

Finished with the workshops and meeting around 7ish PM and started the mad rush to go catch the 9 PM Amtrak at BWI.

Yah, that did not work out too well.

Contributing factors to missing the 9 PM train:
0 - left at a time that didn't leave much flex room
1 - the 1 hour drive from work to Car Rental place
2 - process to wait for return of car, to shuttle to airport, to shuttle from airport to Amtrak
3 - got on the wrong bus (The bus driver gave me a short lecture on why did I get on the bus to the long term parking lot when it states on the bus that's where it's going. To my defense, I really did not look.)

So the next train was at 10:30 PM but then got delayed to 11PM.

All in all, I got back after getting a ride at around 2 AM on 02/02/07. Travel to come back took over 7 F*king hours.

Not a happy camper here.

But valuable lesson learned once more:
1 - poor time management leads to dire consequences - more time wasted
2 - waste of opportunities
3 - Avoid taking a late Amtrak train


Time for shuteye.

Nikon D50!

When I heard the door bell rang about half an hour ago, I sped down like a kid on Christmas day ... my first DSLR is here!!!

Yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhha!!!

After I ran back up with my precious package, the Canon S45 (current camera) was put into action to document the glorious momentous unveiling of my new Nikon D50.

Pictures were snapped, flashes went off, and viola event captured. Now I just have to wait patiently for the parts to adjust to the room temperature since it's been sitting in the cold delivery facilities for the past couple of days.

Then I can charge my battery and start shooting!

I Pulled the Trigger... on the Nikon D50

It has been a long arduous journey for me personally to decide on a camera. Wait, not just 'a camera' but my very first DSLR. Whohooo! I've always liked photography. There's so much that can be read from looking at a picture, and I want to be one of those that capture that moment.

Thanks to the AMEX wishlist coupon, I am able to get a discount on the Amazon.com purchase. The hard part was to decide between mainly the three cameras - Nikon D50, Nikon D40 or Pentax K100D.

I went to several shops, held them, shoot sample shots with them (store lighting really isn't a good indicator), went back and repeated the process several more times. I think the camera shop people are sick of me now.

Finally hit the 'buy' button for the D50. God, endless nights scouring the forums. I just don't want to regret my decision or look back and say hell.. I should've gone with the other model. But like always, I tend to over analyze things. I guess there will never be that one perfect camera, that one perfect job or that one perfect life. Just need to make a decision and go with it. I am trying. 2 months it took me to pull the trigger and I am still not sure if I'll like it.

I figured that if it turns out I really do find the D50 too bulky for me to handle after shooting with it for a while, I can always sell it on eBay and recoup most of my money for it and then go for the D40 instead. I tried manual focusing on the Pentax K100D with some old manual lenses to see how it felt the other day... it was slow.... and I would definitely miss some shots if I had to manual focus with some of the primes like I would have on the D40.

Finally! It's such a relief to at least decide on a camera for now. Can't wait to get the camera and start taking pictures!

Now the long nights will be spent reading up on tripods to get. Ooooh boy ......

Rejected!

I wasn't expecting it.

The call that is. I just got out of the bathroom, going for a pear in the fridge when I was notified that a call from the consulting firm is ringing on the phone.

Dropping the pear on the counter, I rushed up to get the phone just in time to hear the "Booong Boong Boong" on the line. Darn! Missed it!

Not to worry. Thanks to wonders of technology and voicemail, the recruiter regretfully informed me through the message that "they will be pursuing other candidates at this time"... aka .. "Nahh, we don't want you!"

So .. there it was, the first rejection after 7 years.

I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I was at the least slightly disappointed. Don't get me wrong I am not going to cry me a river for not getting this job, it was mostly that my little ego was slightly bruised. Natural to feel that way right? "Why didn't they want me? Whyy whyyyy whyyy??"

Truth to be told, if I was sitting on the other side of the table, I would not hire me either. Why? Lack of enthusiasm.

I guess I am not that great of a liar nor pretender. Never was one to put on a face for too long. I even heard it in my tone while I was interviewing. If I sounded alive, maybe they would've invited me for the 3rd round.

Oh well. I got over it in 5 minutes.

Their loss! But still, would like to hear what was it that made them look the other way.

It's A Happy Day

Wow.. I feel good about myself today. Did a looooot of things. Let's see morning started at 8 this morning. The bladder called and also I wanted to get my rear brakes and rotors fixed once for all.

Roughly 40 minutes into 8, I got an appointment for the Element to get spanking new gear this afternoon. Finally! One would think that getting rear brakes and rotors would be something simple. But noooo.... in this day and age, how many of us have a trusted mechanic? Or dealer?

These day and age, I am a bit more cynical or careful if you want to put it nicer. But as a consumer, when it comes to service, it definitely does not hurt to shop around and get multiple views. So here is a rough summary of my quest to find out what actually needs to be replaced on my vehicle and not get ripped off in the process.

05/31/06
- took my Element into one of the Honda dealers (VIP Honda for those that live in NJ) for some fluid flush and oil change. As part of their routine checks I guess, they pointed out that all four of the brakes pads will need to be changed soon and they might not last until next oil change.
Odo reading = 44,558.

07/01/06
- Element went into one of the local STS mechanic shops for free brake and rotor inspection after hearing some screeching sound coming from the brakes. I was quite impressed when the mechanics actually asked me to step into the shop to show me the rotor and the brake while the tire is off. He explained somethings about the rotor which made sense when he's saying it. But to an untrained eye like mine, I doubt I'll be able to pick up whether or not a rotor has grooves that are not normal the next time I see a rotor. To me they all look like old records!

But it was the thought that count and the fact that the mechanic was willing to show me what they saw. Either we got a honest mechanic on our hands or that he was betting that I am amongst many others who knows knows nothing about rotors and brakes.

Anyways, I left the shop without anything done since the mechanics told me that my front pads still have about 50% life on them and the rotors look fine. The rear pads have 25% left and should replace the rotors at the same time within 5,000 miles.


11/08/06
- Went back to VIP Honda again to have my oil changed and also asked them to look at the brakes. This time instead of saying all brake pads needs to be replaced, the front pads and rotors will need to be replaced. The rear rotors are okay but need new pads.

Okay at this point I am really confused. Dealer is saying front rotors are bad, local mechanics are saying it's the rear that needs to be replaced.


01/03/07
- Went to the same local shop where I got my Nokian tires to see what they gotta say about my braking system. Front pad and rotors looked fine according to them. The rear pads and rotor will have to be replaced and the rotors are out of spec too thin to be replaced so that full replacement is needed. The fronts pads and rotors I were told should last at least another 5,000 miles without problem.

Yah, so this one agreed with the other local mechanic.

01/06/07
Okay finally went back to the STS shop and got my NAPA rotors and Honda OEM pads for the rear. Whohoooo.. I feel safer already!

I am just glad this is over. Not that I mind spending the money since safety comes first but it's just frustrating trying to figure out what exactly needs to be changed. I am still scratching my head as to why the opposite opinions between the Honda dealer and the local mechanics? One says front bad the other says its the rear!

Well, I shall find out soon enough. The next time I get on the highway and need to brake, I'll be able to tell if I still feel the pulsing when the brakes is applied at higher speeds.

The End of the Rotor Chronicles..

2nd Phone Interview ...Much Better?

News flash of the day.. whohoo.. I made it through my 2nd phone interview. This round of interrogation, ehh.. I meant questioning was done a principal manager at the company. The entire phone conversation was around 40 minutes in length.

Part I - tell me about you and what you did


Part II - ask me about the company


I think I did better in the 2nd part than the first. But regardless, I sounded much more alive and actually 'interested' this round than my first talk which was with the HR department.

The interview ended with the guy thanking me for my time and he said "I look forward to seeing you." I don't know if he was just being polite or not, but at least it's not "Well, thank you for your time and have a good night."

We shall see....

Feeling Them Up!

Ah.... I've waited for soooo long. Finally, for 2 hours, I wrapped my hand around the hard bodies of my dreams - Nikon D50, Nikon D40, Nikon D80, Canon Rebel XTi, Pentax K100D. What were you thinking?

If the shop had carried the Olympus EVOLT E-500, then the line up will be truly complete for comparison purpose.

The D80 was the largest of them all and also the highest in price. Here's the size ranking according to my grip:

D80 -> D50 -> Pentax K100D -> Rebel XTi -> D40 (smallest).

D80
- heavy and solid

D50
- clunky and ergonomically like a block

D40
- my gosh that's a cute camera, small grip, my pinky definitely has to go under the camera

Pentax K100D
- surprisingly very solid feel to the camera in between D50 and D40. Perfect grip.


The 2 hours went fast, mostly just taking snap shots and the customer rep was really helpful to explain the features and differences between the dSLRs. His preference? Nikon, being a long time Nikon user. Although he did recommend the Pentax system. I wonder if it's because they were running a special on it? Regardless when asked about how useful is the top LCD and the control dials on the Nikon, the rep said that he thinks it's pretty useful as he illustrated just holding down a button and scrolling with the dial control one is able to change the ISO, shutter speed settings for example rather quickly.

D40 lacked external jog controller and missing the ability to auto focus other than AF-S lenses was a biggie for me. I reallly realllly liked the prime lenses after snapping some shots with them at the store. It was just amazing how fast the shutter was able to go with those fast prime lenses. The 50 mm f/1.4 .. nice.... very nice. (*droool*)

Also heard a rumor that D50 is being discontinued.

After having the chance to hold the D50 longer in my hands and shoot with it, the size actually wasn't too bad. I can now see why a lot of people think the the Canon's grip is too small. If you have a larger hand, then yes, the Canon is probably harder to wrap the hand around with.

So I think it comes down to the following for me:

1 - Do I prefer to have the top LCD and jog dial for faster access to control settings?
2 - Do I want to have a bigger LCD screen?
3 - Do I even need to have jog dial and quick controls to settings?
4 - I guess what pictures am I planning to take? mostly composed or action?
5 - Ergonomically which one will my hand like better?
6 - Which one will I take out with me to places?

Decisions decisions...

Monster Element

Today's Mission:

# Buy the bargain marked down sofa and lug it back!

Sofa Dimensions: 70"Wx43"Dx32"H


Believe it. This sofa from Crate and Barrel's outlet in Cranbury, NJ was transported sitting upright using my Honda Element!



Note:
Objects are larger than they appear.

Honda Element Dimensions:

Headroom = 39.4 inches
Cargo Volume = 77.1 cubic foot



I LOOOOOOVE my car. It's such a cool little all around reliable car that could.

Now how many other vehicles on the market today (exclude cargo vans and utility trucks) can cart following items within the vehicle with all doors and hatches closed?

- 1 large snow blower + 2 passengers
- 1 large lawn mowner + 2 passengers
- 2 standard size bikes + 2 passengers
- 1 two-seater sofa + 2 passengers
- a whole trunk load of boxes
- 20 plastic bins + 3 passengers

Whohoo! Go Element, go Element, go go go Element..

Buy one and stop drooling.

Phone Interview

Hmm...

Earlier today, I had my first formal phone interview since my job search begun.

The entire conversation lasted around 30 minutes. The first level of phone interview is done by the HR recruiter. Standard questions were asked:

- Why work for us?
- Why are you leaving your present job?
- Are you okay with traveling?
- Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
- Do you have any questions for me?
- Tell me about your projects?
- How much do you make currently?


I was not too happy with myself on this interview. Blame it on lack of human interaction, well more like business face to face interaction could be part, the other is just that I am not used to having to impress others or toot my own horn. Whatever my excuse is, I thought I did a bad job today.

Surprised, I was to hear that I'll be having a second phone interview with the company next week. Interesting. This time it'll be with the technical officers at the firm.

The funny thing is, when I was talking to the lady, I knew I did not sound like someone who is really excited about the job. Perhaps my inner self knows that this is not something I really want to do. What then, what are my alternatives? Thoughts of - watching stocks, browsing, working for cousins, go back to school, start online business - flashed through my mind when I answered with "I have other prospects." to HR's question - "Are you talking to other companies right now?"

It's not a lie.

Do I really want this? Million dollar question.

Subjective

It's 13 minutes till 5PM. The closing time of my local library where I seeked refuge for the last 3 hours. It's too dam cold in the house for my blood to circulate so I must find somewhere warmer in order to have those digits functioning.

As I walked towards the front door, I noticed the yellow sign that's posted on the front door which reads - "Reception 2 - 4 pm". Ohhh.. what is this? I thought to myself. I soon found out that the library is hosting a reception for a local photographer. A wall of black and white photos with the theme snow is displayed in black frame. My excitement soon diminished as I scanned over the photos. Most of them were distant shots of central park in the winter. Trees and few people in the background. I didn't feel it. I didn't feel the serenity, tPublishhe calmness that the photographer wrote on the stand. And I sure didn't get the prices she tagged onto those photos - over $300 each! What the ...

Photos I guess are just like paintings or other forms of artistic expression - subjective.

What is beautiful and memorable for each person is quite different.

For me those pictures are very mediocre. I could've done those shots! But alas, I wouldn't have the clout to have the local lib host a reception for me.

I guess that's one factor that makes one an artist vs a casual photographer.

Hurry! Click!

Freebies, everyone wants them, especially when you make it into a competition.

Take for example, crowd goes wild when parade participants throws out bits of candy. It's a peppermint for crying aloud! No need to poke someone's eye out to get to it. If that peppermint wasn't thrown into a crow and instead placed in a jar on the side of the table somewhere, will we see the people do a mad dash for it? I highly doubt it.

So what is it that makes us go ga ga whenever there's free stuff handed out but in limited supplies? Perhaps it's more of the rush knowing that you beat out others, making us feel somewhat superior.. even if it's just for a wrapped candy.

American Express brought the fun to a whole new level with their introduction of My Wishlist.

Now it's like participating in a lotto.. instead of picking the numbers, you click and click with your mouse and test your typing skills to fill out the information in time to gain the prize.

I got all 3 coupons today. Amazon, Best Buy, and Home Depot.

Dam I am good!

True Cost of Time = More Time

Today was one of those days that timing really screwed with me...

Morning sun made its way through my windows to conspire with my bladder to wake me up from my slumber. It was 8 am. I turned on my celly to hear the voicemail of a friend that today's meetup is on. Since it looked like a clear, sunny, but brisk day out, I thought a walk to the post office to pickup my certified mail would be a good idea. Then I can come back and catch the 9:35 am train into the city.

Mistake #1. I got there around 8:30 am only to find that the post office does not open until 9. What to do, what to do.. do I run back or just hang around the empty parking lot until the gates are lifted? I opted to head home to shower and then drive back. Mistake #2.

Although my friend would appreciated my clean scent, it sure did cut things tight. By the time I drove back to the post office, it was already 9:17 am. As soon as I stepped in, I silently cursed, "Are you F* kidding me?" To my horror, there's already a line with at least 5 people in front of me and 2 of which had at least 6 boxes to ship out. So I thought to myself, "Okay, let's see the man is going to the back room, maybe to ask for a 3rd person to help in the front."

Noooooooo........ instead of putting another man up to the front desk to help with other customers, yes, customers, the long line continues to accrue more and more people as we watch the 2 front desk people manage each box. Let's just say 5 minutes per box X 6 = 30 minutes at least. That's 30 minutes at least of waiting time for the rest of us.

Inefficiencies... a good business manager would've put another person to help out with a line that has 8+ people in it. Do you think Kinkos would let a line get 8 people long when there's others around to help? Most likely not! Perhaps this says something about the efficiency within the US government.

When my brain finally gave in to the idea that I am not going to get my mail today, it was already 9:25 am. Due to no parking is available near the train station without permit, I had to park on residential streets. By the time I ran down the hill, my train was whizzing by. "Great, F* great." To catch the next train, I ran back to my car to drive it to the next train station hoping to beat the train.

I finally released a sigh of relief as I stood on the platform, ticket in hand, waiting for my 10:10 am train to pull in.

10:05 am - whohoooo my train arrives!!! Mistake #3.

It was not my train. Yes, unfortunately I found out only after I heard the announcement WHILE sitting on the train which is now taking me further away from the city. Great, this is turning out to be a nightmarish day.

That one I had no one to blame but myself.

I made the best of my time as I waited at the next station to catch the city bound train this time. At 10:36 am. The train finally came. The old lady confirmed that this is the train to get on. Thank goodness for old ladies. They don't judge.

Finally, I made it to the city and just in time to submit my name in the lottery drawings for Wicked and The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. This would be my 3rd attempt to get lottery tickets for Wicked. Long behold, I wasn't surprised when my name wasn't called for Wicked. Still we had one more chance at getting cheap tickets. After spending 30 minutes at Cosi's for lunch, we were back in front of the door for the drawing. Names after names were announced, sorely defeated I was ready to walk away when my name was called out!! Whooo!!! I did a little hop "that's me!" yeaaaaaahhh... finally I won something!

See that little pin? Each of the lottery winners gets one for keepsake. Aww......


One word to describe the show - cozy. It was a small theater staged as a school's stadium which is really great cuz I hate it when big head sit right in front of me. Not that I would have problem this time because as lottery winners, some gets front center, others get first row on the sides.

For $25, I can't complain about seeing mostly the side profile of the actors.

Fun show to go and if you go for the lottery, you have a really good chance of getting picked due to the small number of people that actually show up for the lottery. Dunno why.


Even though I wasted a lot of time waiting this morning to get to my final destination, the day turned out pretty good. Saw a show, spent time with 2 friends, and had a filling dinner in Chinatown.

A Good Day

What a gift! Today was the most perfect November day ever! Well at least the most perfect for me when I do venture outside.

Ahh.. that breeze .... you know the day's gotta be great when you walk out and immediate enveloped by this most warm feeling... kinda like the powers telling you "Hey there! Go have fun now. It's a good day."

A beeeeauutiful day. This is the kind of day where every creature comes out of hiding... the 4 legged critters, the 2 legged ones, the old, the young, even the ones that can't even walk yet. After some box moving, it was time for a short hike!

My hiking buddy found a little park that was in between our locations - Lord Stirling Park. The description on the site mentioned some swamp land and level trails. Since we had limited daylight now that sun sets quite early, a short hike for today is perfect.

We got to the park at 2:40pm and got out of the park by 5:15pm.

During those brief 2 hours, plenty of pit stops were made to allow for proper picture taking time. We traveled across swamp patches on boardwalks and by the end of the day it was more like trudging through mud patches. Squish.. Squish.. the sound my sneakers made as I attempted to walking through another wet muddy section of the trail. By the end of our 3.5 mile leisure hike, I satisfied my outdoor exposure for the day and was happy with some of the shots that I took. A digi SLR and a tripod would've made me a lot happier but hey it's all good.

Thanks to the Garmin, we found a place to feed our tummies - Thai Thai. Aptly named, the Thai restaurant was surprising good and very busy.

I hiked.
I took.
I ate.

A very good day indeed.

In The Name of Greater Good

Channel surfing after Smallville ended when I saw a PBS documentary presentation on chimpanzees once used as lab animals for various medical products and procedures.

For the next 40 minutes, I watched as the camera showed the chimps in their man-made habitat, which, for the most part consisted of concrete floors and metal bars. I listened as the narrators and their caretakers re account the harsh life these animals endured. It was absolutely heart wrenching to see these creatures, humans' distant cousins, so used to living in cages that when given freedom to explore green pastures, they were afraid to step off the hard concrete.

In the name of greater good, we have done so many things.

Survival of the fittest, I get that. The strong shall survive and get the bragging rights to write history.

Will I stop using modern medication? No. But when I do take it next time, I'll think of those that made it possible for me to suffer a little less and live a little longer.