The Day I Told

I had practice this moment for a looong time in my head, over and over, of how I was going to announce to the upper management that I am leaving the company. But nothing is as we planned it. Instead, I was rushing trying to finish work at the same time nervous as hell on breaking the news to my manager about me leaving the project.. leaving the company.

Finally I tracked him down and after he finished setting some priorities of work on my plate I asked to speak to him in his office.

Maybe I should have been a little bit more patient about spewing out my resignation statement, but never one for small talk, before my manager even had the chance to close the door fully, I turned around and said something like, "Mike, I just wanted to give you a heads up that I am resigning."

The man is stoic as ever! He should play poker was what I thought. After a brief pause, he said he was sorry to hear the news and then we went into more details of why I am leaving the company. I explained that I've thought about this for a while now but had to move up the exit date due to father's ill health. He was sorry again and thanked me for the heads up.

All was done in less than 5 minutes.. maybe even 3.

Then of course.. I got called backs about 30 minutes later on whether if I had considered taking FMLA again or leave of absence..

Nice offers definitely.. but it's time to go.

How did I feel afterwards? Maybe slightly relieved that now I can submit the resignation formally so that the separation process may begin. But not much of anything else.. my mind was on other things.

Rest of the day I shared the formal news only with several close friends.. then it's business as usual.. fix the bugs, update the config, and update the status.

Bad News

Why is it that I am always prompted to write more when things are troubling me or that it's not something pleasant?

Today while out in downtown State Collge enjoying some lunch, a phone call from an unrecognized number rings. "Hello"... and the conversation begins. The doc is looking for pop to inform him of the CAT Scan results. Talking to me is the same, so I was the first that heard those words that we've dreaded..."there's an ill-defined mass"... so has the cancer come back or is it just a tumor? When will he do the biopsy in the next exam? How many were there?
Will a PET Scan be scheduled?

One question after the other. I am not surprised of the news. I had a bad feeling several weeks ago, my right eye just started jumping again. Why is it that mom and pop don't seem to be able to get a break. How am I going to tell him?

What will he think? Will pop get really depressed? Will he think of the worst? Will he ....

Until we know whether the mass is malignant or not, we shouln't jump to conclusions. The oncologist will tell us.