Well, sitting alone in separate rooms is not the way I envisioned my dad's first day back from the most recent hospital stay. But nothing ever goes as planned does it? Too many fights. I am so tired. Rather than blowing up and talking back, I picked up the laptop and escaped to the kitchen, leaving my dad sitting in the lower level. Was I right to do that? Am a terrible daughter for it? Questions that haunts me every day. Playbacks of fights, conversations, the silence forces me to constantly judge my own actions and behaviour. What does it mean to be a good child? Is it the role of the caregiver, emotional support, or the decision maker? Perhaps a combination of all of the above, much like being a parent or the better half in a relationship. When do I cross that line from being over controlling versus letting the person you care for do whatever they think is right? Is it disrespectful or belittling to your elders, especially your parent when you point out what you think they are doing wrong when you have their best interest at heart?
I don't know.
