At It Again

There's something inherently wrong with this picture.

A healthy 20 year (okay fine approaching 30 year old) is lifting dumbbells around midnight to workout muscles wasting away after 14 hour work day while the 50 year olds neighbors next door are getting their cardio exercise in a much different format from what I can hear.

Just not right.

Why not?

1 - apt walls are just way to thin, I truly do not need those kind of vocals at midnight
2 - it's midnight! Shouldn't they be sleeping right now?
3 - my God, when is it going to end! It's been 4 times.. wait make that 5 times already
4 - amazed at their stamina, wondering if they are taking anything

By no means I have no qualms with older people getting it on.. just .. just.. ..

So on goes the iPod... wonderful little invention, keeps unnecessary images away..

I need to get out.

Well a co-worker sent out a goodbye note tonight. He's leaving the company after 8 long years. In his note, he mentioned the long hours and the long travel hours put in all these years. Well good for him! Glad someone got out. Just hope I am next.

Time to feed Monster.

Back to Normalcy

After working hard for 3 weeks, putting in awful 14-16 hours a day for many days, finally I have my personal time back. So what do I do? Well like any normal human being, I cleaned and I organized. Living in a studio apt, one can image the mess created by weeks of neglect.

So today, I strapped the heavy duty 3M mask around my face, armed with Comet and a scrubber, I attacked my tub with fury. Finally after some elbow grease, the tub regained it's natural color - white.

Next the sink, with the vinegar and the baking soda, down it goes through the pipe bubbling and making hissing noises. Love it!

The floor vacuumed and the litter removed, the living room/dining room/bedroom finally saw the light of day. Then came the scanning and sorting through all the paper stacked on the desk. It's amazing how much paper one gets just within 3 weeks. Scan they go for the bills or some other important documents. I love organizing and categorizing. It soothes and relaxes me believe it or not.

Now I am pooped. Falling asleep now, yes just now as I finished typing the previous sentence, Morpheus paid a visit.

I had something profound to say I thought. Nope, just going to bed.

Sleeping Pandas

I feel like a voyeur. What am I saying? I am one! Right now I've got 2 screens open to pandacam, brought to you by the wonderful folks at Smithsonian National Zoological Park. Holly cow! Panda I mean, it moved!! It moved! Finally after several hours of watching the giant sleeping pandas, the mama stirred from her slumber.

They sure sleep a lot.

The two live webcams are focused on the sleeping quarter of the mama Mei Xiang and her new baby male cub.

It's quite relaxing.. (yah I think that's the word I am looking for) to glance up from my resume editing and watch the pandas sleep. Mama panda is just like us humans. She changes sleeping positions quite often. Sometimes she lays on her side, then flips onto her back, roll onto the stomache, or something in between.

I love animals, especially the ones with fur.

Tonight work ended earlier, around 10 PM. And no, I don't work the night shift. I am a corporate worker bee, so supposely I should've been done by 6 PM at the latest. But like many consultants out there, the boundary of work and personal time seem to be blurred and smudged with personal time loosing ground, fast.

So here I am working on my resume, trying to shrink it down to 1 page. From what I hear you are suppose to keep everything under 1 page if possible. Very exciting time for me, after 5 years I might actually be interviewing again if I play my cards right.

Wish me luck.

The Prince of Egypt and I

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd.. it's freaking 3 AM!!

Another day/night lost to work. I skipped gym 5 days in a row now. Can't blame that on work for the first 3 nights. Another night spent with my headphones on listening to the soundtrack The Prince of Egypt. Excellent soundtrack if you like Hans Zimmer or just enjoy great music. This is my all around fav album. It has a wide range of emotions which is great late at night while I hunch over my laptop pounding away and cursing at the slowness of the remote system.

One of my favorite track is hands down The Plagues, especially the chorus sections:

I send a pestilence and plague
Into your house, into your bed
Into your streams, into your streets
Into your drink, into your bread
Upon your cattle, on your sheep
Upon your oxen in your field
Into your dreams, into your sleep
Until you break, until you yield
I send the swarm, I send the horde

I would jump up from my seat whenever this part comes on and wave my arms wildly in the air as I turn blue trying to keep up with the chorus spitting out the curses. Directing them towards whatever ills me at this hour.

More incentive to get that resume ready to look for a new job. Wonder if corporate world is all the same. Grass always look greener on the other side. I know people who have left my company and found happier/more rewarding (either monetary or job satisfaction). I also know those that have left and decided to come back. And then, there are those of us stuck in the neither lands. Oh we stay sandwiched for various reasons: afraid of adapting to new environments, not wanting to give up the cushy salary (this is not one of my factors), too many ties with current job/workplace, or simply not sure what are other options to pursue. Which brings me to my quarter-life crisis -- what am I to do?

Earthquake

Read the news regarding the earthquake that killed so many people in Pakistan, India, and Afghanistan. Is it me or does anyone else think mother nature is really lashing out this year? 18,000 people, 18,000 and the death toll is still expected to climb. I cannot fathom eighteen thousand people. Actually, I can. I just remembered the images of the football domes filled with Katrina evacuees. That was what around two to three thousand and that's with cots almost next to one another on the football field. So potentially we can have 20 astrodomes filled with casualties from this natural disaster.

The image saddens me. I hope the search and rescue teams will be able to save those who are still trapped quickly.

The 180

Part I

Stock market in the US today was not glamourous by far for majority of the day. I think we were only up by 30 points max. However that was enough for me. Having finally placed an order to buy SIFY after 3 days of good run and high volume, I was cackling when I saw it went up 40 cents. The rest of my stocks were ticking green so I was one happy camper. Thought I would finish City of God before sending it back to Netflix, I was lost in Rocket's accounts until ooh around 3 PM. That's when I noticed the first 180. The market is now negative 80 points.

The market handed me a slap in the face.. "think you got me figured out eh?" it's telling me. Sometimes (wait what am I talking about), all times I wonder why do I do this to myself. I am no professional money manager, why bother with individual stocks with my measly funded accounts? Whoever wrote index funds are boring is right, it is boring. For me investing and hitting that "Buy" or "Sell" button is a terrible exciting action. I have to say that I am much more cautious and smart with decisions when it comes to investing today than when I was back in college. Nonetheless, despite the known advantages of index funds, I am like a moth drawn to the flame, tempted by the idea that I, I can time the transactions to make some dough in shorter periods of time.

Dreamers of Toilets

Alright.. whew... that took a while. First I have to say, thanks to those that posted comments! I was so excited to read comments from real people instead of being splogged.

After skimming and reviewing blog search results, about 100 of them, I finally compiled a list of bloggers who have dreamed of finding an usable toilet.

Tada! .. visit the blogs of fellow dreamers in the links to read their accounts.

We are not alone.

Neptune, Pluto... Xena and Gabrielle?

Hahah... oohhh gosh, to see this headline on the web tonight just tickled me happy.

Full article provided by CBC News:

Neptune, Pluto... Xena and Gabrielle?

Excerpt:

"Neptune, Pluto... Xena and Gabrielle? Last Updated Sun, 02 Oct 2005 14:46:21 EDT

CBC News

Astronomers say Saturday that an icy, rocky object that might be the solar system's 10th planet has its own moon. Scientists have dubbed the possible planet Xena and its much smaller satellite, Gabrielle.

They made the discovery on Sept. 10 using the Keck Observatory on Mauna Kea in Hawaii."

Oh my.. I still can't believe it. That'll be really cool if they did name the 10th planet and its orbiting moon Xena and Gabrielle. Two of my favorite TV characters of all times. It's so good to see that astronomers have a sense of humor.

For those of you who has not heard about Xena the warrior princess, where have you been? Just google Xena on the web, never too late to catch up.

Seeking out fellow dreamers

Dreams has always fascinated me. I've had vivid dreams most of my life, well as much as I can remember. Usually I have more than 1 dream a night. It's amazing the places I travel to when I close my eyes.

Dreams are like my private little movie theater and most of the time I am the main star. I've haunted vampires, chased after evil warlords, chased by white spreading blobs (kinda like the black oil in X-Files), rescued peasants, and saved the world. Of course there are also the scary dreams where I jerked awake. Those are the ones I try not to recall in detail.

However, so my recent obsession with toilet searching themed dreams have prompted my next obessions -- finding fellow bloggers who are looking for the same thing - an usable toilet!!

So if you are a fellow dreamer who have or currently dreaming about toilets, please share your story with me and don't be surprised if I seek you out.

Clogged and Overflowing

Clogged and Overflowing

The toilet is nasty again, clogged and overflowing. It always starts the same way.. I enter this little public bathroom bearing all the traits of a rundown stall; wall paint chipping and peeling, 1 light bulb with no cover and a steel ball chain for operation, small mirror or no mirror, cheap crooked seats, size no bigger than a public bathroom stall.

There are several variations, usually I never get to finish my business, either the seats are gross with some sort of liquid on them, or it's clogged with some forms of solids that I rather not think about in detail.

Then comes the water, the flush, I push that little silver lever and up and up and up the level rises until to my horror it overflows the seats and over the sides and finally the water makes its way toward me....

Then I wake up.

I've had numerous dreams of toilets overflowing. It finds its way to the plots one way or the other. What does it mean?

So this morning just about ooh say 20 minutes ago, I woke up again from an overflowing toilet nightmare, either that or it's because my bladder is full.. not sure which did it this time. Regardless, I have decided to find some interpretations, so, Google work your magic.

Let's recap my problem - waking up from dreams of overflow toilets.

Following are excerpts of interpretations on the web. During my search, I have discovered there are many others like moi, who are troubled by toilets. It's quite comforting to know I am not alone.

From http://dreemmoods.com/:

Toilet
To see a toilet in your dream, symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless.

To see a clogged toilet in your dream, signifies that you are holding in and keeping your feelings to yourself. Your emotions have been pent up too long.

To see an overflowing toilet in your dream, denotes your desires to fully express your emotions.


From http://www.lifetreks.com/lifetreks3/dream01_199705.asp

Dr. Holloway's Comments:

Dreams of searching for a usable toilet are surprisingly common, particularly for women. Lavatories often represent a place where one can be private and attend to personal needs. Being unable to find a toilet except in the open may indicate a lack of privacy (either physical or emotional) in waking life. Finding "overflowing" toilets often symbolizes a situation in which other people's needs take precedence over yours. They may get to "unload" or process their feelings, but when it's your turn, there is somehow no opportunity for you to express yourself, or talk about what you need. Sometimes life seems to overflow with other people's problems, thoughts and conversation. This type of dream is common for women who are in the habit of taking care of others, or whose work places them in the role of caretaker. Although startling, these dream images do not indicate a problem, but may be a signal of the need to place your own needs higher up on the list of priorities.


From http://www.edgarcayce.org/dreams/categories/rooms.html

Dear Dreamer

The dream is fairly common. Most often a bathroom is symbolic of things that need to be eliminated. However, a bathroom can also be associated with personal privacy. From the imagery in the dream it suggests that you often feel under personal scrutiny and donÂ’t feel like you have enough time for personal privacy. An alternative interpretation could be that part of you desires to eliminate something from your life but you havenÂ’t found a way to do it that makes you feel comfortable. -


From http://www.g-gej.org/6-2/dreamwork.html

Now this is one interesting article, best if you go to the source and read its entirety, but in a gist it's a conversation between 2 psychotherapist friends talking about dreams of overflowing toilets. It looks at the dream from another angle - taking responsibility.

She asked "how does my dreaming of these toilets translate into my life?"

I said that Gestalt theory takes each aspect of the dream as being a part of the self. "You could talk about yourself as a toilet."

.....

"Try starting with "I am an impossible toilet." (We both laughed).

"I am an impossible toilet. I am impossible, so that you don't do something that isn't safe. I stop you from getting into situations you wouldn't want (like wetting your bed). I exist to protect you."

"You know, I think that does apply. I am like that, surrounded by impossible situations that stop me. It's alright for some things where I need to stop myself; however, there are times when I can't take risks because of that. Things just look impossible to me, so I don't try."

The conversation then went further. We both started to talk about the development of the authentic self. We both and maybe most of us, face a void, which is the empty space of life, full of potential. This can only be filled through our own self-support, our creative and aggressive selves. Sometimes, rather than being active and responsible I find myself depressed, unmotivated and blaming; wanting someone else (once my mother) to come and get me moving. I behave in such a way as well so that another person will control me, give me a boundary or spur and inspire me to action. It was someone else in my dream who would not let me pee, and I resented them for it, felt that I was being punished, yet what they did was necessary. It was useful to me.


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What did I learn from these overflowing toilets?

1 - I feel repressed
2 - I blame/create factors surrounding me for feeling repressed and helpless


Is this true? yes, but that's for another post.